Relationships can be one of the most enjoyable things that life has to offer. However, they can also be grounds for a lot of anxiety. It is completely normal for people to have fears or insecurities in their relationships, but it is important to not let the relationship anxiety get the best of you.
Unfortunately, society has created this idea that every relationship has to be “goals” and seem perfect. Social media paints the image that no relationship ever has any struggles in it. Well I’m here to tell you how wrong that is! It doesn’t matter how happy a couple is in their relationship. Odds are, they will eventually have some sort of struggle. So let’s talk about one of those struggles: anxiety.
Have you ever worked yourself into a frenzy because of something that hasn’t even happened? Are you constantly anticipating something going wrong in your relationship? Do you ever try to push your significant other away because it’s easier than facing your relationship anxiety? Because I know I have. And that’s okay!
so what causes relationship anxiety?
Well, one cause of relationship anxiety could be past experiences. If you have ever been in a bad relationship, odds are you carry some of that baggage around still. The good news is that it’s in your past. You don’t have to carry it around anymore. You no longer have to play out the worst case scenario. It’s okay to recognize the damage that’s been done. But you don’t have to let it affect your current relationship.
Another cause of anxiety is jealousy. Jealousy has a horrible stigma attached to it that makes people feel ashamed. No one wants to admit that they are jealous, but this is what worsens relationship anxiety. Jealousy isn’t a question of trust or not. Most times it is completely uncontrollable.
There are other factors that cause relationship anxiety as well. These factors include insecurity, fear of abandonment, vulnerability and openness, and failure. All of these might feel completely legitimate but they also damage your relationship.
so how can you manage relationship anxiety?
Well, I’m glad you asked! There are some major dos and don’ts that can help you manage your relationships anxiety.
There definitely is not one way to have a successful relationship. However, my hope is that some of these tips will allow you to overcome your relationship anxiety so that you can enjoy your partner to the fullest.
Acknowledge Your Feelings
Accept the feelings you are having. Trying to push them away will only make your anxiety worsen. Once you have recognized the feelings you are having (jealousy, insecurity, anxiety), you are on your way to managing it. Remember that everyone feels these emotions at one point or another, some just more than others.
Communication is Key
At the center of every healthy relationship is communication. If you are experiencing relationship anxiety, talk about it with your significant other. When you let them in, odds are they will try to help you work through it. If they aren’t, it might be worth it to consider if they’re the one for you. In my experience, it is important to let them know it’s nothing they did to make you feel this way. If it is actually something they have done, you need to let them know so they can work on it.
There are a few ways you can increase your communication. First, don’t wait to talk. The longer you hold it in, the more anxious you will become. Let them know exactly how they can help you. For example, if them texting/snapchatting people of the opposite sex gives you anxiety, they need to know.
Build Your Self-Esteem
One of the biggest causes of relationship anxiety is insecurity and low self-esteem. Obviously building self-esteem is easier said than done. But if you begin doing things that make you more confident, you will feel more secure. Don’t have to change who you are, just change the way you think about yourself. One way to do this is practicing self care. You can learn how to do this a little better by signing up for the FREE guide below!
On the other side of things, there are definite actions you need to avoid in managing your relationship anxiety. To have a healthy relationship, you want to develop good habits. So try to avoid these at all costs.
Looking For Evidence
If you happen to be stuck in your head and have created a whole scenario that isn’t real, the worst thing you can do is trying to find proof of it. Accept that the scenario is in your head and trust that your partner won’t bring it to life. If you are especially nosey (like me), avoid snooping! However, if there are signs of something fishy actually going on, confront your partner and use your best judgment.
Don’t try to test your partners faithfulness to you. This will end badly for both of you. Go into the relationship expecting fidelity. If your partner hasn’t given you a reason to think they are cheating, don’t act like they have.
Get Angry For No Reason
If you are experiencing relationship anxiety, it can be frustrating. Try to avoid getting angry at your partner, especially if they don’t understand. Kindly explain to them your feelings without anger in your tone. Anger will only make matters worse, so be as kind as possible.
I hope that this post has been helpful for you and benefits your relationship. If you have any questions that I didn’t answer in this post, please feel free to contact me. Share how anxiety affects your relationship in the comments below so that we can help each other overcome anxiety together.